#yorais | Euveng.com

If Rais Yatim #yorais Had Everything done His Way…

- euveng

Posted by euveng on Jan 20, 2010 in #yorais, Funnies, Misadventures | 32 comments

As we all (obviously) know, one of our beloved ministers, Datuk Seri Utama Dr Rais Yatim, who is our current Malaysian Information, Communications, and Culture Minister, has been shining like a star for the past 2 days.

Not literally, although his botak forehead does catch a camera flash very easily.

…Nor is it because of the frequent funny faces that he makes in public.

Pics courtesy of http://malaysiakini.tv

…But because as always, as usual, our ministers make the front page for all the wrong reasons. This time, it’s not just any local paper’s frontpage, but on Twitter’s frontpage.

As of 8.35pm, Rais Yatim has made it to the #5 trending topic on Twitter, aptly named “#yorais”.

Screenshot courtesy of http://spinzer.us @spinzer

To get an idea of the magnitude of Rais’s ‘branding success’ on Twitter, (him ranking #3), it is 3rd to the world-involved earthquake in Haiti, whose hashtag is #Haiti, ranking at #1.

My word, that makes him a world celebrity. Why?

Because of a few uncouth, shallow, untasteful words that formed a direct attack on users of the Net-izens of Malaysia (like myself), during a press conference 3 days ago.

From @StarOnline

SEREMBAN: Malaysians, especially Muslims, must avoid being totally immersed in the internet culture, especially Facebook and Twitter, said Information Communication and Culture Minister Datuk Seri Dr Rais Yatim.

He added that facilities like internet could not be accepted wholly because it was a form of business introduced by the West and “Malaysians were just users.”

“We are not saying that they cannot use Facebook or Twitter but when using such facilities they must upkeep the values taught by Islam, Buddhism or Christianity to maintain our culture,” he told reporters after opening a Seminar on the 1Malaysia concept here on Saturday.

This made him an instant enemy. Twitter or Facebook, possibly our ONLY source of unaltered, uncovered news, facing a potential block? Other attacks on our internet freedom by Dr Rais were carried out in August 2009, when he stood up against ‘child porn’, or in other words, his i-wanna-kill-you-political-blogs-and-real news propaganda.

Our Malaysians (truly One when it comes to defending something that we love), took it in their stride to produce one of the most creative, both offensive and defensive flurry of tweets (that helped #yorais to #3). Over the past 24 hours, some instances are:

8:13 am bongkersz: Rais Yatim is so ancient, he co-authored the Ten Commandments #yorais

8:31 am 5xmom: Rais Yatim is so ancient, Eve was his girlfriend #yorais (this sounds like a compliment)

9:25 am lightyoruichi: Rais Yatim is so ancient, that Yoda was his padawan #yorais

9:27 am benjicajess: Rais Yatim is so ancient that when i asked him to act his age, he died #yorais

At this point, someone said :

9:29 am starwing: – I will transfer RM10 4 d best quote about RaisYatim. #yorais. Pls RT

Cash prize. Not bad. Anyway….

11:30 am angeliCassie: @PatriciaLow #yorais is so ancient that WOI PAT I SERIOUSLY DUNNO WHAT’S UP until everyone on my Twitter is #yorais-ing (we have a new verb : yorais-ing)

3:29 pm jfkjohan: #yorais came first. Sorry chicken, Sorry egg.

4:12 pm GypsyQue3n: @alixchase lemme know if any of ur tweeps are making #yorais shirts. (who wants to make $$ – this is an excellent idea!)

4:38 pm MikeyVoon: #yorais is so out of touch. He wants to ban ALAMAK! He thinks it’s Western for Mother of God. (Wana talk more Allah again?)

6:21 pm ky123456789: #yorais thought ‘walao’ was the short form for walaubagaimanapun..

8.00 pm Mikeyvoon: #yorais is so ancient. where he was born, was still Negri Satu then while he became adult during Negri Dua. (He’s from Negri Sembilan)

all the way to midnight..

11:56 pm martianunlimite: #yorais is ancient, he discouraged use of papyrus scrolls as it can be used to spread rumours

Well what can I say? Malaysia Boleh! And these 12 tweets above is only a MOLECULAR section of the 12,000+ tweets with the #yorais hashtag. I plugged it all into Word and I got this.

If Malaysians could combine all their energy from tweeting and reading these tweets, we could rebuild the damn country lol. It took me bloody long to read everything ok hahaha. As an added bonus, here’s the nicely-arranged 12,000+ tweets list for download and personal enjoyment.

So, what do think would have happened if Yorais, I mean Dr Rais Yatim has it done his way? Here are 4 possible ideas.

#4 Bahasa Kebangsaan will be used in every announcement, regardless of how international it is, or no matter how many non-Malay speaking delegates are present. After all, who does not know Malaysia? And if everyone knows Malaysia, everyone should know Malay, right? Right.

*’My Mode’ was a Yorais quote taken from a Malaysia Kini video where he was defending the Internet Filter Plan. Someone asked him a question in English. Kantoi. You Must watch the video to see why Malaysians love him so much.

#3 When friends meet each other, the standard way of greeting of ‘Yo’, ‘What’s up?’, ‘Hi’ will be accompanied by a casual, bestial scratch on the body. Just imagine a gorilla and you’re half-way there.

Watch the video to believe it. Exactly at 0:30.

Just do it (the scratch). After all, he is the Minister of Culture.

#2 After being a hero in August 2009 by taking a cheap shot at ‘liberals’ to look at countries that had become “victims” of pornography, Rais will do a complete clampdown on online pornography because ‘kita tidak boleh bertolak ansur’ (God knows what pointing 3 fingers mean).

But he will introduce more CULTURE into our society by promoting the use of Japanese magazines.

#1 When Twitter and Facebook have been blocked in this small part of the world, and all the #Yorais tweeters have all been arrested by the government’s best friend ISA, Dr Rais will introduce the replacement for Twitter.